((full disclosure.. I wrote this post a month ago but it’s still relevant!))
7 minutes past midnight and I’m lying in bed waiting for my youngest, my 16 month old toddler-baby, to fall back asleep. I’ve already rocked him, snuggled close, and I just wait.
Wait for a long enough period of silence to know he’s truly asleep. So I can sleep. Because though my best help, aka the Husband, has only been gone two days, I’m plain exhausted. Exhausted from trying to keep my patience held all day with each of our four kids and not losing it.
Tonight as I rocked by baby back to sleep, patting his back, I thought of all the times I’ve felt so guilty for not appreciating those sweet moments. I’m positive there are more than care to I remember or care to count. And sometimes, I feel awful about it. I read a sentimental snippet on someone’s Instagram picture, and instantly feel regret. Regret and a stinging pain for not enjoying the moments more. For struggling to remember them more.
But here’s the thing, mamas. I’ve learned when I begin feeling this way, I need to stop in my tracks. And offer myself grace. Soaking in every precious moment of mothering sounds ideal. Isn’t that what we all want as mothers?! To truly enjoy each moment with our kids. (Umm.. yeah!) But is it realistic to hold that heart bursting standard to every moment of every day?
NO. I’m just going to say it. You’re probably crazy or will at least drive yourself crazy if you keep that train of thought all the time. I know because I used to be that mom.
Motherhood is absolutely beautiful. Motherhood is absolutely hard.
And sometimes when you’re deep in the thick of the hard, it’s difficult to appreciate even the sweet moments. It’s true the hard brings appreciation of the beautiful. B
ut do not beat yourself if you’re truly struggling to savor those moments. It only drives you into a deeper rut.
So, what’s a mama to do??
1) Give yourself GRACE today and every day you spend deep in the trenches of mothering. You’re only human! You are not a bad mom for not always enjoying the moments, even the good moments!
2) What ARE you grateful for in motherhood? What feels like a gift to you? If you’re struggling with answering this, ask yourself why? Are you simply past the point of exhaustion you can’t even think straight to see and appreciate the good? I get it mama! I’ve been there, too. Ask God to help you see what you’re grateful for. He is always faithful in that!
3) Ask for a small break. Talk to your hubby or ask a friend to help out. Whether 15 minutes to read a book or a couple hours to sneak out of the house sans kid(s), breaks are not selfish. Breaks are necessary– for everyone’s well being.
What seasons of motherhood have you found yourself burnt out? Do you ever struggle with the mom guilt of not enjoying every moment? I’d love to hear!
So much YES YES YES in this article. I think that grace, gratitude and breaks are the biggest pieces to actually being able to enjoy motherhood overall. The hard parts are so rough, but the good parts are unbelievably sweet! Love this post.