When God works in my heart through motherhood, I often feel like Mary the mother of Jesus. I quietly watch in wonder and in awe of how He’s working. A tension between desiring to shout the praises He deserves yet lacking adequate words. So, I keep silent by mouth but not by heart.
“Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19
Have you felt this way, too? Speechless and awestruck when you look up at your kids one morning and realize how quickly they’ve grown. You witness your child act out of precious kindness and generosity, rather than selfish ambition. He offers up sweet words of, “I love you, Mom. You’re my best friend,” unprovoked. I so treasure the times I look at my children growing and blossoming into the little people God uniquely created them as. These are the times I ponder the beauty and wisdom of our great God in my heart. I sit in awe that He chose me to help raise these little people!
Lately, this season of motherhood is full of treasuring and pondering. I’m filled with fresh wonder, awe, joy and gratitude when I look at God’s faithfulness in my life and my kids. Enjoying motherhood is a sweet, refreshing gift. Am I right? As mothers, we all desire this! It’s a gift I’ve longed for often the past 5 1/2 years but found elusive at times. A gift always available to me, but one I’m guilty of not always receiving.
That’s changed. (Thank, God! Seriously.) Yes, I get frustrated with my kids still. Yes, I lose my temper when I shouldn’t. Yes, I’m not always grateful for the tantrums, whining and endless messes. But overall, I’m thankful.
So, what’s different? Maybe it’s starting a whole new season of parenting “school age kids” now. (My oldest, Jadon, just started kindergarten last week! How’d that happen?!) Maybe it’s recognizing the years are truly short. Or maybe it’s stepping back and being silent- like Mary.
Maybe it’s appreciating God’s faithfulness and the priceless gift He’s given me in these kiddos when I absolutely don’t deserve them. Friends, whether you have one or twelve children, take on a mother role to kids not your own, if God has given you the gift of motherhood in some facet, treasure it. It’s worth pondering. It’s worth looking deeper at God to understand how beautiful His heart is to create and give such beauty. Such love.
To you mamas who are worn down, who struggle to muster words any words of gratitude, who feel thankless, with no joy – sit in silence. Sit in silence as you watch your little one move, breathe, play. Treasure. Ponder all God’s given you.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 
Being a mother, let alone a good and joyful one, is hard. You aren’t alone! Ask for joy. Ask for eyes to see. Ask for hearts to treasure. Ask forgiveness. God is faithful to give and forgive! He freely gives when we ask. Our task? Receive. Don’t sit in silence, filled with shame of not enjoying every season. (We’ve all been there!) Sit in silence, filled with quiet, joy-filled gratitude.
It changes everything.
Big hugs to you today Mama!
Jenna
Yes! Yes, yes!
Hey girl! I’m a fellow mama of four-in-four in Colorado too. 🙂 Just found your blog tonight and I’m loving browsing your words. I also find that quiet gratitude and wonder of the gift of our children helps to weather the crazy chaos of daily life, but sometimes it’s difficult to get the point of appreciation when everyone needs something! Thankful for your encouragement. 🙂